codekasten/WdpF/Yes-Men-Uebersetzung/Dan

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Jeez, this is terrible.
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It's the stupidest.
I can't--
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It's an hour's difference.
The time zone is different here.
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Fuck. It's unbelievable.
How the fuck can that happen?
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Okay. Here.
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Okay, there. That's done.
Now what?
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Okay. Got it. Okay.
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Pull it up.
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Okay, now let's get your...
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A few years ago, we wanted to...
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try to help out with some activist's
anti-corporate activities.
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And we heard about this website
called rtmark.com.
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And we went there, and they--
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they handed us a domain name--
gwbush.com--
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and asked us if we might like
to make a website
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that was critical of George Bush.
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Because George Bush's real
domain name was georgewbush.com.
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And this was 1999,
so it was just during the campaign
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when he was beginning
to run for president.
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And we didn't really know
quite what to do,
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so we went to Bush's website
and looked at it.
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And it turned out to be full
of strange hypocrisies, like,
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for example, he called himself
"The environmental governor of Texas,"
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but we looked a little closer
at his record and found out
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that he had actually created
the most polluted state in the country
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because he dismantled
the Clean Air Laws while he was there.
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And, actually, that's, I guess,
what he's doing now nationally.
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So we thought,
"Well, this kind of hypocrisy
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we can easily poke fun at
by making a satire website."
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And we made this satire website
that looked exactly like Bush's
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except for a few key differences.
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Like there was a photo on the banner--
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instead of him and his wife
in front of the capitol building in Texas,
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we showed him pointing the finger
at black people.
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And this seemed to get him
a little bit angry.
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So the Bush campaign
tried to shut us down
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by sending us
a cease and desist letter
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and by complaining
to the Federal Election Commission.
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But we were able
to just take those threats
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and send them to the media.
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And immediately the <i>New York Times</i>
wrote an article,
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and there were a whole bunch
of other articles.
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In fact, one reporter
read these articles and,
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at a press conference,
asked Bush,
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"So, what about this website--
gwbush.com--what do you think of that?"
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So it was all over the place.
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A lot of people read about it,
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including a guy who had another
domain name called gatt.org.
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And, of course, GATT is the
Global Agreement on Tariffs and Trade,
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and it's the predecessor agreement
to the World Trade Organization.
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And he said,
"If you could do this for Bush,
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then maybe you can
also do this for the WTO."
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The WTO is supposed to be
sort of a United Nations of commerce,
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a conglomeration
of all these countries in the world...
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that get together every now and then
to discuss trade policies
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in how exactly goods will be bought
and sold throughout the world.
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I'm sure, originally,
the stated purpose of the WTO
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was to help these countries
who are developing
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so that, you know, the world community
can help raise them out of poverty.
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In fact, what it's done is
it's allowed large corporations
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to go in and exploit these people
even further
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so that Americans
become even wealthier
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and the people in these countries
continue to struggle to get by.
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And I think that's--
at this point it's upset quite a few people.
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So I gotta try
and remember where Sal lives.
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It's a little bit complicated. There's, like,
this snaking road up over the hills.
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And who is Sal?
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Sal is a friend who I met in San Diego,
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and he moved to L.A.
to work in the movie industry,
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and that's why now he does,
actually, costuming professionally.
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He builds, like, weird suits
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out of pretty much
any material you can imagine.
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And so, when we needed a costume,
I knew who to call.
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Yeah, this is it. Yeah.
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I'll maybe bring him his mail, actually,
as long as we're at it here.
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- Yeah--I don't like it.
- Okay.
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It looks too much like sex stuff
instead of--it's not very modern-looking.
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Remember, this is the future.
This isn't about, like, straps and stuff.
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That's like dungeons and torture
in the past.
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The costume
is a manager's leisure suit.
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And the idea is that Hank Hardy Unruh,
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the representative
from the World Trade Organization,
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is going to go and wear
this breakaway business suit
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that's gonna be pulled off of him
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during the middle
of the keynote address to the conference.
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And then a big inflatable phallus
is going to emerge from this golden suit,
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and on the end of it is a TV screen
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that he uses
to manage sweatshops remotely.
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The reason we got invited
to these things
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is we have a website
called gatt.org.
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The gatt.org website looks a lot
like the WTO website,
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but it is critical of the WTO.
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Most people, though,
who find gatt.org
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by searching
for the World Trade Organization...
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will go without reading it
and will send us e-mail directly.
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So a lot of people ask us
weird questions about tariffs and trade,
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and we try to answer
as accurately as we can.
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And occasionally invitations come in
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from official
or quasi-official organizations
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asking for opinions
or asking us to attend a conference.
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And so, when they ask, they really think
they're talking to the WTO,
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and we respond by giving them
what we think they want--
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which is the opinions of the WTO--
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as accurately
as we can represent them.
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You know what I'm thinking,
actually, looking at this...
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is that maybe this is a zipper.
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Yeah! Yeah, yeah.
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Then he just unzips it
and pulls the thing at the same time.
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- That could be really good.
- Because...
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to have it burst out of the Velcro,
it might not be strong enough to burst out,
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and then he'd have to pull it.
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Part of the thing
that gives us the courage
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to go to Tampere...
with this really absurd suit
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is that we already went
to Salzburg, Austria, to represent
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the World Trade Organization
at a conference on tariffs and trade.
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There, our representative--the same guy
who is Hank Hardy Unruh here--
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was Dr. Andreas Bichlbauer there.
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And he gave a lecture that focused
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on basically doing away with
all customs in the name of free trade,
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like getting rid of the <i>siesta</i>
in Spain and Italy
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so that business hours
could be the same.
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In Italy, on the other hand,
you have a totally different situation,
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in which sleep is...done during
the day as much as at night almost.
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And allowing people to sell their votes
over the Internet to the highest bidder
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so that the barriers to free trade
and things like votes were out of the way.
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One possible solution is being tested
in the field of American politics
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to streamline the grotesquely
inefficient system of elections.
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Vote-auction.com, in turn,
employs only four people
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to transmit not merely information,
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but actual money
directly to the consuming voter.
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It's a--a forum for people voluntarily
to offer their vote to the highest bidder.
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And despite giving what we thought
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was a lecture that would immediately
get us booed off stage
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or get Bichlbauer
maybe even thrown in jail
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because people would figure out
he was an impostor,
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the exact opposite happened.
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Everybody was super polite.
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It didn't seem like everybody even noticed
that what he said was so absurd.
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Well, so far...
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...we thought Bichlbauer
would be very extreme
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and people would react to it
and we'd get shut down,
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and nothing of the sort happened.
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So...this time we just have to really
push it and make it totally extreme.
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I mean, we keep trying
to push things further
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to try to really clarify the positions
of the WTO to make them very legible.
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It's one back,
but this--this is good.
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<i>Andy.</i>
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It has a terrible siren.
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I have to check the Web
when we get upstairs.
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Oh, my God. What are we
gonna do about this--
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we gotta watch the Patrick video.
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It's weird stuff, isn't it?
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That's one way of putting it.
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It's really a problem.
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It seems about the weirdest
I've seen from him ever, I think.
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It looks pretty good on this.
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Yeah, it's all right.
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What we have here is that we have
our cyber Andy here
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who's going to be wearing the suit.
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And I'm going to be showing
all the different ways
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in which the Management Leisure Suit
can be useful in industry today
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and maximize leisure potential.
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Sometimes I don't think they know
what the hell to expect out of me.
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What I'll come up with...
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is frequently not exactly
what they had in mind,
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but it's...you know,
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it fits in perfectly with what they're--
what they're going to do.
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Well, I came out
of a corporate environment
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and a company that I really gave,
you know, a good bit of my soul to
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over a long period of time progressively.
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And there were a lot of downsizings
and, of course,
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the company I was with I thought
was gonna take care of me.
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And I realized
that the bottom line is the bottom line,
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and there really isn't any humanity
in corporate structures,
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so therefore I hope that maybe
being part of the Yes Men
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might, in some way, help raise issues
about global work issues
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and social issues that are being
brought about by globalization, etcetera.
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I grew up in the suburbs here,
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and then I moved to Troy six years ago
for a job at the university.
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There's a place there called Rensselaer
Polytechnic Institute, and I teach there.
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I was moving back home, really,
because I'd been away--
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I'd been on the West Coast
for about 12 years.
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Wait, what is this?
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This is--it's this...
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...SimCopter hack.
Here it is.
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I wanted to watch this tape
'cause this is the tape--
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I've been cleaning out the archives,
and I found this tape in there.
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I met Andy through a friend, actually.
A mutual friend.
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Actually, two people
that we both knew
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suggested that me and Andy
get in contact with one another
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because we'd both
done similar projects.
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One of the jobs that I had was
at this games company called Maxis
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that makes SimCity.
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One of the games they were making
at the time was SimCopter.
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I was in charge of the little people
that run around in the game.
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And I made them
wearing nothing but swim trunks.
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They'd all be boys, and they'd
be running around kissing each other.
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So all the people who ordered
this very popular video game
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suddenly were treated
to a completely different spectacle.
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So he got a lot
of press attention for it,
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and it was seen as a kind of--
an activist kind of statement
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about video games and the sort
of macho nature of them.
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It all involves
the unexpected appearance
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of some gay, kissing muscle men
every Friday the 13th.
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He's becoming a celebrity of sorts
in the computer world--
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especially the gay computer world.
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And then I had done a project
using Barbie dolls,
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where we switched the voice boxes
of Barbie dolls and G.I. Joes.
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<i>Troops! Attack that Cobra jet</i>
<i>with heavy firepower!</i>
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And that ended up in G.I. Joes that
said things like, "I love to shop with you,"
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and Barbie dolls that said things like,
"Dead men tell no lies."
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And we got them back
on store shelves
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all over the country in what we called
our "Shop Giving Program."
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We're like Santa Claus,
only less radical,
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because Santa Claus
breaks into people's houses. We don't.
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So that when kids
got them at Christmas,
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they were surprised to find their doll
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saying something other
than what they expected.
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And the kids thought it was hilarious.
They loved having these crazy dolls.
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We sent out press releases,
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so it was in the news on Christmas Day
and for the week following.
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It just went through every kind
of media channel imaginable.
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<i>- The B.L.O...</i>
<i>- The Mission of the B.L.O...</i>
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<i>The Barbie Liberation Organization--</i>
<i>the B.L.O...</i>
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<i>It was real funny 'cause it looks</i>
<i>like, "Come on, fight me. Fight me!"</i>
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<i>- Except it says...</i>
<i>- I love school. Don't you?</i>
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<i>Let's sing with the band tonight!</i>
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Now we're--with the Yes Men,
229
00:14:42,828 --> 00:14:46,559
we're calling that sort of basic idea
"Identity Correction,"
230
00:14:46,632 --> 00:14:48,361
like saying, these things--
231
00:14:48,434 --> 00:14:51,699
these things that are not
really presenting themselves honestly
232
00:14:51,771 --> 00:14:55,434
or that hide something about their nature
that's really scary,
233
00:14:55,508 --> 00:14:56,839
we want to bring that out.
234
00:14:56,909 --> 00:14:59,241
We want to show that.
We want to demonstrate that.
235
00:14:59,312 --> 00:15:02,145
And so, like for the WTO--
236
00:15:02,215 --> 00:15:04,046
we think that the WTO
237
00:15:04,116 --> 00:15:06,778
is doing all these terrible things
that are hurting people
238
00:15:06,852 --> 00:15:08,843
and they're saying the exact opposite.
239
00:15:08,921 --> 00:15:11,913
And so we're interested
in correcting their identity.
240
00:15:11,991 --> 00:15:15,483
In the same way that an identity thief
steals somebody's identity
241
00:15:15,561 --> 00:15:19,395
in order to basically
just engage in criminal practices,
242
00:15:19,465 --> 00:15:21,797
we target people
we see as criminals,
243
00:15:21,867 --> 00:15:24,461
and we steal their identity
to try to make them honest
244
00:15:24,537 --> 00:15:26,801
or to try to present
a more honest face.
245
00:15:26,872 --> 00:15:29,864
And so...you know,
I guess this whole thing
246
00:15:29,942 --> 00:15:32,433
has its roots for both me and Andy
247
00:15:32,511 --> 00:15:34,843
in stuff that we've been doing
for a long time,
248
00:15:34,914 --> 00:15:38,577
which is trying to create public spectacles
that, in some kind of poetic way,
249
00:15:38,651 --> 00:15:43,179
reveal something about our culture
that's profoundly a problem.
250
00:15:58,371 --> 00:15:59,736
That must be Sal.
251
00:16:01,674 --> 00:16:04,006
- Oh, dude.
- Are you okay?
252
00:16:04,076 --> 00:16:06,067
I got fuckin' lost on that...
253
00:16:06,145 --> 00:16:07,476
Oh, no.
254
00:16:09,515 --> 00:16:11,005
It's been a long day.
255
00:16:11,083 --> 00:16:12,482
Holy shit!
256
00:16:13,786 --> 00:16:18,723
Well, I probably started it
in June or July.
257
00:16:19,358 --> 00:16:23,124
So, on and off
for a good two to three months.
258
00:16:23,195 --> 00:16:27,131
Just a couple more pieces
of Velcro, and that'll really be it.
259
00:16:27,199 --> 00:16:30,691
And, yeah, we're...
at the end of the line.
260
00:16:33,606 --> 00:16:35,767
Okay, look.
So we're making a list here.
261
00:16:35,841 --> 00:16:38,571
Wednesday we leave
for Finland early,
262
00:16:38,644 --> 00:16:41,511
so, Sunday...
263
00:16:41,580 --> 00:16:42,911
make lecture.
264
00:16:42,982 --> 00:16:44,916
Bigger?
Oh, no. That's a big one.
265
00:16:44,984 --> 00:16:51,150
PowerPoint...
and then speech.
266
00:16:51,223 --> 00:16:52,281
Finish.
267
00:17:04,403 --> 00:17:11,070
It's 4:03 a.m., and I guess
I'll just keep working until morning.
268
00:17:11,143 --> 00:17:13,475
I feel...somewhat awake.
269
00:17:13,546 --> 00:17:16,538
And then Andy can take over again.
270
00:17:17,983 --> 00:17:21,475
We can do
around-the-clock shifts, I guess.
271
00:17:23,255 --> 00:17:28,090
I'm just trying to add a few slides
into the PowerPoint here.
272
00:17:29,195 --> 00:17:34,690
Because, actually, a lot of the things
that business leaders of the world
273
00:17:34,767 --> 00:17:39,170
say in relation to these issues
are actually sort of very similar
274
00:17:39,238 --> 00:17:40,899
to what Unruh Hank Hardy says,
275
00:17:40,973 --> 00:17:44,875
even though maybe Unruh Hank Hardy
is a little bit more frank about it.
276
00:17:44,944 --> 00:17:47,970
And, in fact,
when he talked to CNBC,
277
00:17:48,047 --> 00:17:49,378
when he was debating,
278
00:17:49,448 --> 00:17:52,440
an activist, Barry Coates,
just sort of agreed with what he said
279
00:17:52,518 --> 00:17:56,352
when he said that this is what
the WTO does, and this is our position.
280
00:17:56,422 --> 00:18:01,086
And Barry Coates said,
"Well, that's funny. That's exactly right."
281
00:18:01,160 --> 00:18:09,090
So...after Salzburg, we got an e-mail
asking a representative of the WTO
282
00:18:09,168 --> 00:18:12,228
to appear on CNBC
MarketWrap Europe.
283
00:18:12,304 --> 00:18:18,971
And the producer apparently didn't notice
that gatt.org was not the WTO site.
284
00:18:19,044 --> 00:18:25,347
And Granwyth Hulatberi, which is
another name that Andy just came up with,
285
00:18:25,418 --> 00:18:28,012
responded and, of course, said,
286
00:18:28,087 --> 00:18:31,579
"Well, I'd be happy to go
on CNBC MarketWrap."
287
00:18:31,657 --> 00:18:37,493
And the producer wanted him to debate
an anti-globalization protester.
288
00:18:37,563 --> 00:18:43,661
If the WTO is serious about addressing
the issues of world poverty,
289
00:18:43,736 --> 00:18:47,228
it would do things
completely differently than it is now.
290
00:18:47,306 --> 00:18:50,901
Let me bring in Granwyth on that.
Is that a fair point?
291
00:18:52,077 --> 00:18:56,480
Well, of course it is, but I think Barry,
as well as all the other protesters,
292
00:18:56,549 --> 00:19:01,646
are simply, in a word, focused too much
on reality and on facts and figures.
293
00:19:01,720 --> 00:19:05,212
And I think I would have to say
that this is a long-term problem
294
00:19:05,291 --> 00:19:07,782
that comes down
to a problem of education.
295
00:19:07,860 --> 00:19:12,354
We have to find a way to convince
perhaps not the protesters
296
00:19:12,431 --> 00:19:14,262
but the protesters' children
297
00:19:14,333 --> 00:19:20,067
to follow thinkers like Milton Friedman
and Darwin and--and so on,
298
00:19:20,139 --> 00:19:23,074
rather than what the protesters
have been reared on--
299
00:19:23,142 --> 00:19:26,202
Trotsky and Robespierre
and Abbie Hoffman.
300
00:19:26,278 --> 00:19:30,271
And I think that putting
the direction of education,
301
00:19:30,349 --> 00:19:33,079
being put into private hands--
302
00:19:33,152 --> 00:19:36,246
a concentration of resources
in the private sector--
303
00:19:36,322 --> 00:19:38,483
will naturally lead to this result,
304
00:19:38,557 --> 00:19:41,048
and we'll see
the protesters' children being reared
305
00:19:41,126 --> 00:19:43,617
with an entirely different
set of concerns.
306
00:19:43,696 --> 00:19:45,357
Let me bring you in on that, Barry.
307
00:19:45,431 --> 00:19:47,092
Can--can I just say
308
00:19:47,166 --> 00:19:49,361
that these kind of simplistic arguments
309
00:19:49,435 --> 00:19:53,098
are really, I mean, too insulting
to most people to believe.
310
00:19:53,172 --> 00:19:56,903
The fact that we have a choice between
Milton Friedman or Abbie Hoffman
311
00:19:56,976 --> 00:20:00,377
for where we get our source
of economic history and philosophy.
312
00:20:00,446 --> 00:20:03,438
There are many, many thinkers
from around the world--
313
00:20:03,516 --> 00:20:06,007
just not those ones
employed by the WTO--
314
00:20:06,085 --> 00:20:09,953
that think the World Trade Organization
policies are deeply damaging
315
00:20:10,022 --> 00:20:12,684
for the development prospects
of the poorest countries.
316
00:20:12,758 --> 00:20:14,419
Let me go out to Granwyth.
317
00:20:15,961 --> 00:20:21,558
Yes. Well, I wanted to speak
to Granwyth--sorry--to Barry's point
318
00:20:21,634 --> 00:20:23,124
that there are other thinkers.
319
00:20:23,202 --> 00:20:27,468
Well, who actually has the power
in the world, and so who is correct
320
00:20:27,540 --> 00:20:29,201
in this kind of world view?
321
00:20:29,275 --> 00:20:31,607
I mean, I think the answer is easy.
322
00:20:31,677 --> 00:20:35,511
And if you look at the views
held by myself, my organization,
323
00:20:35,581 --> 00:20:39,244
and many, many
of the decision-makers in the world--
324
00:20:39,318 --> 00:20:43,311
the powerful people--they happen
to coincide with what I'm explaining.
325
00:20:43,389 --> 00:20:46,881
And I think this is enough
in this sort of view.
326
00:20:46,959 --> 00:20:48,119
Briefly, Barry.
327
00:20:48,193 --> 00:20:49,990
So, I mean--what we have here
328
00:20:50,062 --> 00:20:53,657
is a picture of the rich and powerful people
believe a certain philosophy
329
00:20:53,732 --> 00:20:57,065
which they then propound
through the institutions
330
00:20:57,136 --> 00:20:58,728
in which they have a powerful voice.
331
00:20:58,804 --> 00:21:02,205
And I think this is exactly the model
that is being questioned.
332
00:21:02,274 --> 00:21:07,211
And, increasingly, what there is
is a very large body
333
00:21:07,279 --> 00:21:09,611
of people who are concerned
about these rules.
334
00:21:09,682 --> 00:21:12,742
The people on the streets
of Genoa and Seattle
335
00:21:12,818 --> 00:21:15,286
are not representative
of the overall movement.
336
00:21:15,354 --> 00:21:16,946
They are the tip of the iceberg.
337
00:21:17,022 --> 00:21:20,856
We did a study last year
that looked across developing countries
338
00:21:20,926 --> 00:21:24,020
and found that in the space
of one year, in 50 protests,
339
00:21:24,096 --> 00:21:26,929
more than a million people
from developing countries
340
00:21:26,999 --> 00:21:29,661
were out trying to change the rules
341
00:21:29,735 --> 00:21:32,465
that were being imposed on them
by the World Bank and the IMF
342
00:21:32,538 --> 00:21:35,200
and locked down
through the World Trade Organization.
343
00:21:35,274 --> 00:21:38,141
Thank you. We must finish.
Barry Coates, thank you for joining us.
344
00:21:38,210 --> 00:21:42,044
And also Granwyth Hulatberi and
Vernon Ellis on the line from New York.
345
00:22:08,807 --> 00:22:10,206
Section three?
346
00:22:13,412 --> 00:22:14,572
Well...
347
00:22:14,647 --> 00:22:17,980
It's not exactly a garment bag,
but it's, uh...
348
00:22:19,018 --> 00:22:20,349
...it'll work.
349
00:22:21,987 --> 00:22:25,150
Yeah? You think this
is very business-like?
350
00:22:25,224 --> 00:22:26,885
It's like very official?
351
00:22:26,959 --> 00:22:29,018
Very...very big money.
352
00:22:29,094 --> 00:22:32,894
Okay, good. That's what I need.
I need a big money watch.
353
00:22:34,033 --> 00:22:38,697
So are you as nervous
as you were for Salzburg?
354
00:22:38,771 --> 00:22:41,171
The thing is, like,
even with the Salzburg thing,
355
00:22:41,240 --> 00:22:43,970
we went into it, like...
356
00:22:44,043 --> 00:22:47,843
sort of--we went there really nervous,
but the whole time kind of--
357
00:22:47,913 --> 00:22:50,575
it doesn't really sink in
till you're actually there.
358
00:22:50,649 --> 00:22:51,775
Right.
359
00:22:51,850 --> 00:22:55,251
Well, I think it's good you guys,
from what I've seen of the speech,
360
00:22:55,320 --> 00:22:58,721
it kind of starts out
the most normal that it is,
361
00:22:58,791 --> 00:23:01,282
so that he can get comfortable,
and people--
362
00:23:01,360 --> 00:23:05,524
he can sort of slowly
work his way up into it.
363
00:23:07,266 --> 00:23:09,257
Son of a fucking bitch.
364
00:23:11,170 --> 00:23:12,501
Shit.
365
00:23:13,505 --> 00:23:16,633
Yeah, do you have a rag? Fuck.
366
00:23:17,276 --> 00:23:21,474
Shit. I have one that has shoe polish
on it, but that's not right, right?
367
00:23:24,383 --> 00:23:26,715
- The screen get a little paint on it?
- Yeah.
368
00:23:34,660 --> 00:23:37,652
- It sounds like a lawn mower.
- It's a little loud, yeah.
369
00:23:38,997 --> 00:23:40,328
- That's not good.
- Forget it.
370
00:23:50,142 --> 00:23:53,305
Look, it made a new noise.
Good. Good. Good. Great.
371
00:23:53,378 --> 00:23:54,970
- Is it great?
- Try it.
372
00:23:55,047 --> 00:23:56,639
It doesn't work now.
373
00:23:56,715 --> 00:23:58,546
- Oh, listen! Yeah.
- There it goes!
374
00:23:59,451 --> 00:24:00,782
Gotta hurry!
375
00:24:13,599 --> 00:24:15,863
Okay, ten minutes.
They're both here.
376
00:24:18,337 --> 00:24:19,827
Hey, Sal.
377
00:24:21,073 --> 00:24:22,131
Thanks.
378
00:24:23,976 --> 00:24:25,136
Good luck.
379
00:24:26,478 --> 00:24:28,309
- We'll see how it goes.
- Thanks for everything.
380
00:24:28,380 --> 00:24:30,974
Yeah, sleep good.
Have a good time here.
381
00:24:31,950 --> 00:24:33,611
- Enjoy.
- See you soon.
382
00:24:33,685 --> 00:24:36,210
Move into my room.
Have enjoyment.
383
00:24:36,288 --> 00:24:37,448
Okay.
384
00:24:40,325 --> 00:24:43,158
Is this everything?
Wow. Look how efficient.
385
00:24:43,228 --> 00:24:44,388
Okay.
386
00:24:45,831 --> 00:24:48,664
Efficient.
A model of efficiency right here.
387
00:24:51,804 --> 00:24:55,240
You have some crap on your face
right here. No, over here.
388
00:24:57,075 --> 00:24:58,133
Much better.
389
00:25:30,576 --> 00:25:32,407
We arrived last night.
390
00:25:32,477 --> 00:25:34,809
You had to take a nap.
You had to get some sleep.
391
00:25:34,880 --> 00:25:36,211
I just crashed, yeah.
392
00:25:36,281 --> 00:25:40,115
And I went and basically
scoped out the lecture site.
393
00:25:40,185 --> 00:25:43,586
There was a sign on the door
that said, "Textiles of the Future,"
394
00:25:43,655 --> 00:25:47,591
Unruh Hank Hardy was
the first speaker--Hank Hardy Unruh.
395
00:25:47,659 --> 00:25:50,059
And, you know,
it all looked sort of official.
396
00:25:50,128 --> 00:25:52,790
The coffee cups were out
for the morning.
397
00:25:52,865 --> 00:25:54,856
So I thought,
"This is great. I'm all ready.
398
00:25:54,933 --> 00:25:57,094
I know exactly where it is.
We can go there."
399
00:25:57,169 --> 00:25:59,569
I had a time--
I set up a little timetable,
400
00:25:59,638 --> 00:26:03,836
I got maps of the thing and all
the updated conference information.
401
00:26:05,210 --> 00:26:07,940
Came back here.
Then we went to sleep early.
402
00:26:08,013 --> 00:26:13,007
Hank was snoring immediately,
but I wasn't able to sleep at all, really.
403
00:26:13,085 --> 00:26:14,780
I just stayed there awake in bed
404
00:26:14,853 --> 00:26:18,516
and occasionally I'd go in the bathroom
and turn on the light and read brochures
405
00:26:18,590 --> 00:26:21,491
because I was, like,
just unable to sleep.
406
00:26:21,560 --> 00:26:24,893
And eventually I think I fell asleep
just before waking up.
407
00:26:28,734 --> 00:26:29,894
Great.
408
00:26:32,671 --> 00:26:35,401
So I'm leaving my wallet here.
409
00:26:38,744 --> 00:26:40,234
Okay, let's go.
410
00:26:43,849 --> 00:26:45,510
- Wait.
- It's 8:00.
411
00:26:45,584 --> 00:26:47,575
I think I really will leave it here.
412
00:26:53,525 --> 00:26:54,924
Are you coming?
413
00:26:59,431 --> 00:27:01,922
Hank, this is a little early
to get up.
414
00:27:02,768 --> 00:27:06,499
- It's all right.
- I mean, I thought this was a vacation.
415
00:27:06,571 --> 00:27:08,232
- Like what?
- A vacation.
416
00:27:08,307 --> 00:27:09,706
I know.
417
00:27:09,775 --> 00:27:12,437
- I wanna go on a vacation.
- They take me to Finland...
418
00:27:17,349 --> 00:27:20,682
Let me take care of this egg for you.
I'll just peel it.
419
00:27:20,752 --> 00:27:22,413
That'll be nice. Thank you.
420
00:27:27,292 --> 00:27:29,783
- But we're behind schedule.
- Are we?
421
00:27:29,861 --> 00:27:35,026
A little bit. It's after 8:00, and I really
wanted to be at the venue at 8:00.
422
00:27:35,100 --> 00:27:36,761
- Okay.
- But we're doing fine.
423
00:27:36,835 --> 00:27:38,996
- Is it after 8:00?
- It is after 8:00.
424
00:27:39,071 --> 00:27:40,231
Yeah.
425
00:27:42,808 --> 00:27:44,969
You know, pretend like...
426
00:27:54,119 --> 00:27:56,383
Great. We're early.
427
00:27:56,455 --> 00:27:57,615
Oh, good.
428
00:28:00,192 --> 00:28:03,025
Hello, I'm Hank Hardy Unruh.
I'm from the--
429
00:28:03,095 --> 00:28:05,495
- Oh, right. Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.
430
00:28:05,564 --> 00:28:07,725
- We were expecting you.
- Oh, good.
431
00:28:08,834 --> 00:28:11,428
It's not 9:30--no.
It's 8:30, right?
432
00:28:12,237 --> 00:28:16,071
- But you will have a...
- It's 8:30 now...is it?
433
00:28:16,141 --> 00:28:20,475
lt...is...it's 9:30, yes.
434
00:28:20,545 --> 00:28:21,876
- Now?
- Yes.
435
00:28:21,947 --> 00:28:24,108
- Yeah.
- The time is 9:30?
436
00:28:24,182 --> 00:28:25,581
- Yes.
- Yeah. Almost.
437
00:28:25,650 --> 00:28:28,380
- I'm on at...
- It's 27 past 9:00 at the moment.
438
00:28:28,453 --> 00:28:30,944
Oh, my God.
We're an hour off.
439
00:28:31,023 --> 00:28:33,014
- Oh, my God. Thank you.
- You're welcome.
440
00:28:33,091 --> 00:28:36,458
- Well, we have to--we start in three--
- Anyhow, it was nice to see you.
441
00:28:36,528 --> 00:28:38,462
Do they know
that he's going on now?
442
00:28:38,530 --> 00:28:41,124
Yeah--well,
...was expecting you.
443
00:28:41,199 --> 00:28:43,258
- Oh, jeez. Okay.
- Okay, we...
444
00:28:45,504 --> 00:28:48,667
Are you coming, too?
Have you registered?
445
00:28:49,674 --> 00:28:53,166
I'm his assistant.
We're both working with him.
446
00:28:53,245 --> 00:28:55,736
We have to go take care
of a few things now.
447
00:28:55,814 --> 00:28:57,543
- Here it is.
- Okay.
448
00:28:57,616 --> 00:29:00,608
- Would you like to join the dinner?
- Yes, please.
449
00:29:00,685 --> 00:29:03,279
- Is there a fee, or...
- No, it's included.
450
00:29:03,355 --> 00:29:06,620
Okay. Yes, we'll--
we'll join the dinner. That's great.
451
00:29:07,526 --> 00:29:09,357
- Wow.
- We must hurry, I guess.
452
00:29:09,428 --> 00:29:12,022
- Yes. I will accompany you.
- Please. Yes.
453
00:29:13,865 --> 00:29:15,696
Actually, no, you can't go in now
454
00:29:15,767 --> 00:29:18,099
'cause you first have
to take care of that business.
455
00:29:18,170 --> 00:29:21,662
We're an hour--we're...
we had an hour off.
456
00:29:21,740 --> 00:29:24,402
- I have to do something.
- Yes.
457
00:29:24,476 --> 00:29:26,808
He has to make
a very important phone call right now.
458
00:29:26,878 --> 00:29:28,709
- It'll take me five minutes.
- Right now?
459
00:29:28,780 --> 00:29:29,838
I'm sorry.
460
00:29:29,915 --> 00:29:32,748
But you will have your presentation
starting after two minutes.
461
00:29:32,818 --> 00:29:35,309
Please tell them
that I'll be three minutes late.
462
00:29:41,093 --> 00:29:43,288
Well, there's a detail.
463
00:29:43,361 --> 00:29:46,524
Jesus. Fuck.
How come we didn't know that?
464
00:29:46,598 --> 00:29:48,759
I don't know.
That's really incredible.
465
00:29:49,801 --> 00:29:52,292
- Come on.
- Okay. Pick up.
466
00:29:53,605 --> 00:29:55,766
Jeez, this is terrible.
467
00:29:55,841 --> 00:29:58,105
It's the stupidest--
I can't...
468
00:29:59,211 --> 00:30:02,044
There's--it's an hour's difference.
The time zone is different here.
469
00:30:04,950 --> 00:30:08,147
It's unbelievable.
How the fuck can that happen?
470
00:30:08,220 --> 00:30:12,054
- Okay, there. That's done now.
- Ladies and gentlemen...
471
00:30:12,124 --> 00:30:14,524
Okay, quick,
that shirt--the underwear.
472
00:30:15,994 --> 00:30:17,256
The gold underwear.
473
00:30:17,329 --> 00:30:18,591
Okay...
474
00:30:19,998 --> 00:30:21,989
Do I have to put
something through here?
475
00:30:22,067 --> 00:30:23,728
- No.
- Okay.
476
00:30:23,802 --> 00:30:24,962
Need help?
477
00:30:26,838 --> 00:30:29,238
- Your testicles hanging out?
- Uh, yeah.
478
00:30:31,209 --> 00:30:32,267
Okay.
479
00:30:32,344 --> 00:30:33,504
Here you go.
480
00:30:34,779 --> 00:30:35,939
Okay. Great.
481
00:30:37,916 --> 00:30:41,647
Oh, God.
Okay...great.
482
00:30:41,720 --> 00:30:44,188
- It's got a little air in it.
- Okay, now the pants.
483
00:30:44,789 --> 00:30:45,847
Hurry.
484
00:30:49,761 --> 00:30:53,094
Oh, hi. Nice to meet you.
I'm so sorry.
485
00:31:10,515 --> 00:31:13,348
Thank you.
I'm terribly sorry--
486
00:31:15,787 --> 00:31:17,618
Yes, I have my presentation.
487
00:31:19,457 --> 00:31:20,788
Terribly sorry.
488
00:31:20,859 --> 00:31:24,727
I think the World Trade Organization is
supposed to know about time zones, but...
489
00:31:26,431 --> 00:31:28,922
Somebody said,
"Isn't there a time difference?"
490
00:31:29,000 --> 00:31:33,096
And I said, "Nope.
All of Europe, same time zone."
491
00:31:33,171 --> 00:31:36,004
- So that convinced us all.
- Me too.
492
00:31:36,074 --> 00:31:40,238
We were convinced that it was the right
time, and we woke up this morning...
493
00:31:40,312 --> 00:31:43,440
And we were running five
or ten minutes late,
494
00:31:43,515 --> 00:31:47,474
and then figured out
that the laptop wasn't working.
495
00:31:47,552 --> 00:31:49,952
No, maybe we could switch the order.
496
00:31:50,021 --> 00:31:52,353
Could we have somebody else go,
and then I go later?
497
00:31:52,424 --> 00:31:54,153
They said, "I think we can do that."
498
00:31:54,226 --> 00:31:57,320
Then they called the coffee people
and talked to the coffee people
499
00:31:57,395 --> 00:31:58,953
to see if the coffee was possible.
500
00:31:59,030 --> 00:32:00,019
That was it.
501
00:33:13,071 --> 00:33:14,538
Thank you very much.
502
00:33:15,106 --> 00:33:16,368
This one...
503
00:33:17,642 --> 00:33:21,373
It's quite an honor to be here
in Tampere addressing this audience
504
00:33:21,446 --> 00:33:25,177
of the most outstanding
textile workers in the world today.
505
00:33:26,117 --> 00:33:30,451
I see on all the faces here today
a touching childlike eagerness
506
00:33:30,522 --> 00:33:34,390
to tackle the biggest
textiles questions in the world.
507
00:33:34,459 --> 00:33:36,791
How do we at the WTO fit in?
508
00:33:36,861 --> 00:33:41,355
What we want to do at the WTO
is help you achieve your dollar results.
509
00:33:41,433 --> 00:33:43,697
And in just 20 minutes from now,
510
00:33:43,768 --> 00:33:48,000
I'm going to show you
the WTO's very own solution
511
00:33:48,073 --> 00:33:51,804
to two of the very biggest problems
in management.
512
00:33:51,876 --> 00:33:55,107
One--maintaining rapport
with distant workforce,
513
00:33:55,180 --> 00:33:59,014
and two--maintaining
healthful amounts of leisure.
514
00:33:59,084 --> 00:34:03,282
This solution, appropriately enough,
is based in textiles.
515
00:34:05,824 --> 00:34:09,191
But how did workers
ever get to be a problem?
516
00:34:10,362 --> 00:34:12,227
Before unveiling our solution,
517
00:34:12,297 --> 00:34:17,291
I'd like to talk a bit about the history
of the worker management problem.
518
00:34:17,369 --> 00:34:21,032
We all know about the American
Civil War--at least in the U.S.
519
00:34:21,106 --> 00:34:25,270
It was the bloodiest, least-profitable war
in the history of our country.
520
00:34:25,343 --> 00:34:27,709
A war in which unbelievably
huge amounts of money
521
00:34:27,779 --> 00:34:30,942
went right down the drain--
and all for textiles.
522
00:34:31,015 --> 00:34:35,952
By the 1860s, the South
was utterly flush with cash.
523
00:34:36,020 --> 00:34:38,511
It had recently benefited
from the cotton gin--
524
00:34:38,590 --> 00:34:41,058
an invention that took
the seeds out of cotton
525
00:34:41,126 --> 00:34:44,095
and the South
out of its pre-industrial past.
526
00:34:44,162 --> 00:34:45,823
Hundreds of thousands of workers
527
00:34:45,897 --> 00:34:48,331
previously unemployed
in their countries of origin
528
00:34:48,400 --> 00:34:50,391
were given useful jobs in textiles.
529
00:34:51,169 --> 00:34:55,162
Into this rosy picture of freedom
and boom stepped--you guessed it--
530
00:34:55,240 --> 00:34:57,231
the North.
531
00:34:57,308 --> 00:35:01,301
Now, some Civil War apologists have said
that the Civil War, for all its faults,
532
00:35:01,379 --> 00:35:03,609
at least had the effect of outlawing
533
00:35:03,681 --> 00:35:06,616
an involuntarily imported
workforce model of work.
534
00:35:06,684 --> 00:35:09,278
Now, this model is, of course,
a terrible thing.
535
00:35:09,354 --> 00:35:11,345
I myself am an abolitionist.
536
00:35:11,423 --> 00:35:15,757
But, in fact, there is no doubt
that, left to their own devices,
537
00:35:15,827 --> 00:35:20,423
markets would've eventually replaced
slavery with cleaner sources of labor.
538
00:35:21,065 --> 00:35:23,363
To prove my point,
please join me
539
00:35:23,435 --> 00:35:26,768
on what Albert Einstein used to call
a thought experiment.
540
00:35:27,672 --> 00:35:32,006
Suppose involuntarily imported labor
had never been outlawed.
541
00:35:32,076 --> 00:35:35,671
That slaves still existed,
and that it were easy to own one.
542
00:35:35,747 --> 00:35:39,581
What do you think it would cost today
to profitably maintain a slave,
543
00:35:39,651 --> 00:35:41,642
say, here in Tampere?
544
00:35:41,719 --> 00:35:47,123
Let's see...a finished clothing set
costs $50 at the very least.
545
00:35:47,192 --> 00:35:50,923
Two meals from McDonald's
cost about $10.00.
546
00:35:50,995 --> 00:35:54,988
The cheapest small room
probably runs for about $250 a month.
547
00:35:55,066 --> 00:35:58,001
To function well, you have to pay
for your slave's health care.
548
00:35:58,069 --> 00:36:02,130
If its country of origin was polluted,
for example, that might run expensively.
549
00:36:02,207 --> 00:36:05,199
And, of course, what with
child labor laws here in Finland,
550
00:36:05,276 --> 00:36:08,109
much of the youth market
is simply not available.
551
00:36:09,214 --> 00:36:13,150
Now leave the same slave
back at home. Let's say Gabon.
552
00:36:13,218 --> 00:36:17,086
In Gabon, $10 pays
for two weeks of food.
553
00:36:17,155 --> 00:36:22,218
$250 pays for two years
of housing, not a month, at best.
554
00:36:22,293 --> 00:36:25,956
$50 pays for a lifetime
of budget clothing.
555
00:36:26,030 --> 00:36:27,964
And health care is,
of course, cheaper.
556
00:36:28,032 --> 00:36:32,867
On top of it all...youth can be
gainfully employed without restriction.
557
00:36:32,937 --> 00:36:35,428
The biggest benefit
of the remote labor system, though,
558
00:36:35,507 --> 00:36:37,668
is to the slave him or herself,
559
00:36:37,742 --> 00:36:42,008
because in Gabon there is no need
for the slave not to be free.
560
00:36:42,080 --> 00:36:43,479
This is primarily because
561
00:36:43,548 --> 00:36:46,483
there are no one-time
slave transport costs to recoup
562
00:36:46,551 --> 00:36:48,542
and so the potential losses
from fleeing
563
00:36:48,620 --> 00:36:51,919
are limited to the slave's
rudimentary training.
564
00:36:51,990 --> 00:36:54,049
Since the slave can be free,
565
00:36:54,125 --> 00:36:57,617
he or she suddenly becomes
a worker rather than a slave.
566
00:36:57,695 --> 00:37:01,290
Also terrific for morale
is that slaves--workers--
567
00:37:01,366 --> 00:37:03,766
have the luxury of remaining
in their native habitat
568
00:37:03,835 --> 00:37:06,702
and don't have to relocate to places
where they would be subject
569
00:37:06,771 --> 00:37:10,263
to such unpleasantries
as homesickness and racism.
570
00:37:11,009 --> 00:37:14,172
I think it's clear
from our little thought experiment
571
00:37:14,245 --> 00:37:17,737
that if the North and South
had simply let the market sort it out
572
00:37:17,815 --> 00:37:19,612
without protectionist tariffs,
573
00:37:19,684 --> 00:37:23,745
they would've quickly given up slavery
for something more efficient anyhow.
574
00:37:23,821 --> 00:37:25,152
By forcing the issue,
575
00:37:25,223 --> 00:37:29,159
the North not only committed a terrible
injustice against the freedom of the South,
576
00:37:29,227 --> 00:37:31,161
but also deprived slavery
577
00:37:31,229 --> 00:37:34,426
of its natural development
into remote labor.
578
00:37:35,833 --> 00:37:38,324
Had the leaders
of the 1860s United States
579
00:37:38,403 --> 00:37:40,963
understood what our leaders
understand today,
580
00:37:41,039 --> 00:37:43,303
the Civil War
would never have happened.
581
00:37:44,142 --> 00:37:47,009
In a world where the headquarters
of a company might be in New York,
582
00:37:47,078 --> 00:37:49,342
Hong Kong, or Espoo, Finland,
583
00:37:49,414 --> 00:37:53,578
and the workers are in Gabon,
Rangoon, or Estonia,
584
00:37:53,651 --> 00:37:56,984
how does a manager maintain
proper rapport with the workers,
585
00:37:57,055 --> 00:37:59,216
and how does he or she
ensure from a distance
586
00:37:59,290 --> 00:38:02,350
that workers perform their work
in an ethical fashion?
587
00:38:03,094 --> 00:38:05,790
I'm about to show you
an actual prototype
588
00:38:05,863 --> 00:38:10,323
of the WTO's solution to two major
management problems of today.
589
00:38:10,401 --> 00:38:13,234
Now, we all know that not even
the best workplace design
590
00:38:13,304 --> 00:38:16,967
can help even the most
astute manager keep track of workers.
591
00:38:17,041 --> 00:38:22,308
What you need is a solution that enables
complete rapport with workers--
592
00:38:22,380 --> 00:38:24,871
especially when they're
located far away.
593
00:38:26,084 --> 00:38:28,245
Mike, would you help me a moment?
594
00:38:50,775 --> 00:38:52,106
Thank you.
595
00:38:52,176 --> 00:38:54,906
This is much better.
Much more comfortable.
596
00:38:56,414 --> 00:39:00,578
This is the WTO's answer to two
of the major management problems,
597
00:39:00,652 --> 00:39:03,712
and we're calling it
the Management Leisure Suit.
598
00:39:03,788 --> 00:39:06,120
It's--the two problems again--
599
00:39:06,190 --> 00:39:09,023
how to maintain close rapport
with distant workers
600
00:39:09,093 --> 00:39:13,928
and how to remain comfortable
and increase leisure activities.
601
00:39:13,998 --> 00:39:16,831
How does
the Management Leisure Suit work?
602
00:39:16,901 --> 00:39:20,064
Besides being extremely comfortable,
as I can guarantee you.
603
00:39:20,138 --> 00:39:23,904
Well, allow me to describe
the suit's core features.
604
00:39:49,033 --> 00:39:50,625
This...
605
00:39:50,702 --> 00:39:54,103
This is the E.V.A.--
606
00:39:54,172 --> 00:39:58,040
the Employee Visualization Appendage.
607
00:39:58,109 --> 00:40:01,476
It's an instantly deployable,
hip-mounted device
608
00:40:01,546 --> 00:40:04,606
with totally hands-free operation...
609
00:40:04,682 --> 00:40:09,016
that allows the manager to see
his employees directly right here.
610
00:40:09,087 --> 00:40:13,490
Signals communicating the exact
amounts and quality of physical work
611
00:40:13,558 --> 00:40:15,651
are transmitted
not only visually right here,
612
00:40:15,727 --> 00:40:21,359
but directly through electric channels
implanted directly into the manager.
613
00:40:21,432 --> 00:40:25,766
The workers, for their part, are fitted
with corresponding transmitting chips
614
00:40:25,837 --> 00:40:29,637
that are implanted humanely
directly into the shoulder.
615
00:40:29,707 --> 00:40:32,699
But the other equally important
achievement of the MLS
616
00:40:32,777 --> 00:40:34,438
has to do with leisure.
617
00:40:34,512 --> 00:40:38,312
In the United States, leisure--
another word for freedom, really--
618
00:40:38,382 --> 00:40:42,284
has been decreasing steadily
since the 1970s.
619
00:40:42,353 --> 00:40:45,948
The Management Leisure Suit
permits the manager to reverse this trend
620
00:40:46,023 --> 00:40:48,321
by letting him do his work anywhere
621
00:40:48,392 --> 00:40:51,486
while remaining
in complete touch with the workers,
622
00:40:51,562 --> 00:40:55,225
physically sensing what's going on
in the workforce, on the floor,
623
00:40:55,299 --> 00:40:58,234
through channels implanted
directly into the manager.
624
00:40:58,302 --> 00:41:01,135
Again, the manager
sees the employees,
625
00:41:01,205 --> 00:41:03,366
but also feels what they're feeling
626
00:41:03,441 --> 00:41:07,775
and can select where to focus
in the workplace environment.
627
00:41:08,679 --> 00:41:11,011
So, in conclusion,
628
00:41:11,082 --> 00:41:14,745
I'd like to ask,
is this a science-fiction scenario?
629
00:41:20,424 --> 00:41:21,914
The answer is no.
630
00:41:22,927 --> 00:41:25,452
Everything we've seen here,
everything we've been talking about
631
00:41:25,530 --> 00:41:27,020
is entirely possible today.
632
00:41:27,832 --> 00:41:31,233
We can always look forward
on the highways of progress
633
00:41:31,302 --> 00:41:33,361
towards ever-new horizons
634
00:41:33,437 --> 00:41:37,703
with cooperation and mutual delight
in the fruits of prosperity.
635
00:41:37,775 --> 00:41:40,835
I'm very excited to be here.
Thank you very much.
636
00:42:07,004 --> 00:42:10,098
Something we're trying
to do more and more as...
637
00:42:30,561 --> 00:42:32,620
I wasn't depressed
by people not reacting,
638
00:42:32,697 --> 00:42:36,098
I wasn't depressed by people just
swallowing it and not asking questions
639
00:42:36,167 --> 00:42:40,661
because I thought, "Well, that shows
that you need some sort of control,"
640
00:42:40,738 --> 00:42:44,071
because the WTO--me--
can come in
641
00:42:44,141 --> 00:42:48,407
and say these amazingly hideous things
to this group of the most educated people,
642
00:42:48,479 --> 00:42:52,210
like the top .1% education-wise people
in the entire world
643
00:42:52,283 --> 00:42:54,148
in a developed country
like Finland--
644
00:42:54,218 --> 00:42:56,686
these people all have PhDs
or advanced degrees--
645
00:42:56,754 --> 00:42:58,745
and you can say
the most atrocious things
646
00:42:58,823 --> 00:43:02,315
and nobody will really react
and nobody will really care.
647
00:43:02,393 --> 00:43:06,921
It's like, you know,
what can't corporations get away with?
648
00:43:19,310 --> 00:43:20,641
So, where are we?
649
00:43:20,711 --> 00:43:23,305
Well, we're arriving
in Helsinki right now.
650
00:43:24,482 --> 00:43:26,416
We left the conference this morning.
651
00:43:26,484 --> 00:43:31,478
It was just--it had driven us
completely mad after dinner last night.
652
00:43:31,555 --> 00:43:33,955
I think we had our fill with dinner.
653
00:43:34,025 --> 00:43:36,084
I had to actually leave
a little bit early.
654
00:43:36,160 --> 00:43:40,494
I went over to the table where Unruh--
655
00:43:40,564 --> 00:43:44,694
Hank Hardy had to sit
with the big men and eat,
656
00:43:44,769 --> 00:43:47,101
and I told him
that we needed to leave
657
00:43:47,171 --> 00:43:51,835
because we had a telephone meeting
with Mobutu Oblongatu immediately.
658
00:43:53,878 --> 00:43:55,209
- Great.
- Hi.
659
00:43:55,279 --> 00:43:56,610
Sorry to butt in a minute,
660
00:43:56,681 --> 00:43:59,013
but we're supposed to meet
Manduka Djubango...
661
00:43:59,083 --> 00:44:00,812
- Oh, God.
- ...at 10:00.
662
00:44:00,885 --> 00:44:02,716
And then we both started laughing,
663
00:44:02,787 --> 00:44:05,984
which was really not convenient
for the context.
664
00:44:06,057 --> 00:44:10,016
So we left, and we just decided
that, basically,
665
00:44:10,094 --> 00:44:14,497
we couldn't figure out what else
we could possibly do at this conference,
666
00:44:14,565 --> 00:44:18,228
so we just thought, "Well,
let's go to Helsinki instead."
667
00:44:19,403 --> 00:44:20,665
So, this is the paper.
668
00:44:20,738 --> 00:44:23,070
On the front page--
I just discovered it--
669
00:44:23,140 --> 00:44:26,473
it says there's a seminar
at the university
670
00:44:26,544 --> 00:44:30,878
and that somebody talked
about controlling remote workers
671
00:44:30,948 --> 00:44:34,111
with electrical impulsions.
672
00:44:34,185 --> 00:44:37,018
And then you turn to the page, and...
673
00:44:38,356 --> 00:44:39,846
...and that's what you get.
674
00:44:39,924 --> 00:44:45,794
And this right here represents
the World Trade Organization.
675
00:44:45,863 --> 00:44:50,891
This... <i>is</i>
the World Trade Organization.
676
00:44:55,106 --> 00:44:59,600
I went down to these
Mexican border towns in the mid '80s.
677
00:44:59,677 --> 00:45:01,508
They were called "Maquilladoras"
678
00:45:01,579 --> 00:45:04,173
when they had
the first trade agreements
679
00:45:04,248 --> 00:45:06,944
between Mexico and the United States.
680
00:45:07,018 --> 00:45:10,283
And everyone was saying, "This is
gonna raise Mexico out of poverty,"
681
00:45:10,354 --> 00:45:12,845
and things were gonna be so great,
and within ten years,
682
00:45:12,923 --> 00:45:15,517
they'd all be driving
shiny new cars in Mexico.
683
00:45:15,593 --> 00:45:18,528
And I went down there and saw this--
684
00:45:18,596 --> 00:45:22,430
the incredible poverty
in these Mexican border towns.
685
00:45:22,500 --> 00:45:26,402
Fifteen years later, I went back.
Not a damn thing had changed.
686
00:45:26,470 --> 00:45:29,928
Here's all these workers working
for all these American corporations,
687
00:45:30,007 --> 00:45:32,532
and you just go across the street
688
00:45:32,610 --> 00:45:35,704
and you found people
living in the same horrid conditions,
689
00:45:35,780 --> 00:45:37,771
the same poverty existing.
690
00:45:37,848 --> 00:45:41,579
And you had to ask,
"Well, who's benefiting from this?"
691
00:45:41,652 --> 00:45:44,143
Who benefited were
these American corporations.
692
00:45:44,221 --> 00:45:46,712
During the 1990s,
they became even more wealthy,
693
00:45:46,791 --> 00:45:49,954
they posted record profits--
larger record profits,
694
00:45:50,027 --> 00:45:52,757
and the people in Mexico
just continued to suffer.
695
00:45:52,830 --> 00:45:55,390
It was all a big scam.
696
00:46:12,550 --> 00:46:13,949
Is this the one?
697
00:46:14,018 --> 00:46:17,419
No. You got the wrong one.
698
00:46:17,488 --> 00:46:18,648
Shit.
699
00:46:19,690 --> 00:46:21,681
"Will WTO stand up?"
700
00:46:21,759 --> 00:46:24,751
Oh, my God. It's got pictures.
They're nice, too.
701
00:46:24,829 --> 00:46:26,820
Yeah, they actually look okay
at that size.
702
00:46:26,897 --> 00:46:30,560
"Bichlbaum isn't...
but he plays one on TV."
703
00:46:30,634 --> 00:46:33,034
This is basically the core
of what we do.
704
00:46:33,104 --> 00:46:36,801
All of these newspapers
and magazines have articles
705
00:46:36,874 --> 00:46:38,603
on the Yes Men,
706
00:46:38,676 --> 00:46:42,168
and this is why
we are doing these things.
707
00:46:42,246 --> 00:46:44,237
This is why we go
and do these conferences.
708
00:46:44,315 --> 00:46:46,647
It's not for the 200 people
or the hundred people
709
00:46:46,717 --> 00:46:48,878
that might see us give the lecture.
710
00:46:48,953 --> 00:46:50,784
Although we'd like them to come away
711
00:46:50,855 --> 00:46:53,517
with an interesting experience
from the lecture,
712
00:46:53,591 --> 00:46:57,994
the reason we do it is so that people
who read <i>Bizarre</i> magazine
713
00:46:58,062 --> 00:47:00,860
or the <i>New York Times</i>
or <i>Fortune</i> or <i>Harper's</i>
714
00:47:00,931 --> 00:47:03,593
can read about it
in the mainstream press.
715
00:47:03,667 --> 00:47:06,192
This is how millions of people
could read about it
716
00:47:06,270 --> 00:47:11,572
and potentially get turned on
to some of the ideas of anti-globalization.
717
00:47:11,642 --> 00:47:14,805
One of the problems
with the <i>Fortune</i> thing
718
00:47:14,879 --> 00:47:18,610
is that it's in this--
well, <i>Fortune--</i>
719
00:47:18,682 --> 00:47:22,846
it's read by business people
and accountants and that kind of thing.
720
00:47:22,920 --> 00:47:29,758
And that's exactly who we're supposed
to be talking to in Australia in May.
721
00:47:29,827 --> 00:47:31,658
It's an accounting conference.
722
00:47:31,729 --> 00:47:34,721
It's a little...
a little worrisome.
723
00:47:45,809 --> 00:47:47,743
You need a new shirt?
One that's not wrinkled?
724
00:47:47,811 --> 00:47:48,800
Yeah.
725
00:47:48,879 --> 00:47:50,710
Will that be good with your thing?
726
00:47:51,382 --> 00:47:53,213
Do you think it'll work
with your suit?
727
00:47:53,284 --> 00:47:56,776
This one's extra large. Yeah, they'll all
work with my suit. It's terrible.
728
00:47:56,854 --> 00:47:59,186
- It's striped, though. Is that okay?
- Yeah.
729
00:48:00,157 --> 00:48:02,489
- Sure it's okay.
- Why don't you go get a shirt, then?
730
00:48:02,560 --> 00:48:05,893
I'll just get this. Wait.
Oh, it's not very much cotton.
731
00:48:05,963 --> 00:48:07,624
- How much is it?
- I hate that.
732
00:48:07,698 --> 00:48:10,360
- 35%?
- It's 35%. It's like...
733
00:48:10,434 --> 00:48:11,526
No, it's fine for--
734
00:48:11,602 --> 00:48:13,536
It doesn't wrinkle much--
that's nice about that.
735
00:48:13,604 --> 00:48:16,164
I'll just wear it. All right.
736
00:48:22,846 --> 00:48:25,508
The thing is, there's a question
of whether he's--
737
00:48:25,583 --> 00:48:28,313
at what point he recognizes you
doesn't really matter.
738
00:48:28,385 --> 00:48:31,877
What we want is that moment
when he does recognize you.
739
00:48:31,956 --> 00:48:34,948
So if he recognizes you here
and sees that you're in the room,
740
00:48:35,025 --> 00:48:38,290
then he'll be looking back and forth
at you, at the screen.
741
00:48:38,362 --> 00:48:41,695
At that point, if he recognizes you,
we better say something.
742
00:48:45,536 --> 00:48:47,868
No, I think it's down here,
but I don't know.
743
00:48:50,140 --> 00:48:51,801
It must be right down Morris.
744
00:48:51,875 --> 00:48:53,035
Remember we walked...
745
00:48:53,110 --> 00:48:55,442
It's on the end of this line here.
746
00:49:11,228 --> 00:49:12,286
Thanks.
747
00:49:15,666 --> 00:49:18,260
- Andy, hi. How're you doing?
- Barry. Nice to meet you.
748
00:49:18,335 --> 00:49:20,963
- Good to meet you.
- Good. Great.
749
00:49:21,038 --> 00:49:22,198
We're in London,
750
00:49:22,273 --> 00:49:26,266
and we were just at the offices
of the World Development Movement
751
00:49:26,343 --> 00:49:27,833
where we talked to Barry Coates,
752
00:49:27,911 --> 00:49:30,072
who's the director
of the World Development Movement
753
00:49:30,147 --> 00:49:34,140
and who showed up
on CNBC MarketWrap Europe
754
00:49:34,218 --> 00:49:37,881
debating our friend here--
Granwyth Hulatberi--
755
00:49:37,955 --> 00:49:42,289
about the prospects of WTO
and globalization.
756
00:49:42,359 --> 00:49:46,022
We kind of expected him maybe to have
a glimmer of recognition immediately,
757
00:49:46,096 --> 00:49:47,358
and he didn't--okay.
758
00:49:47,431 --> 00:49:50,025
Then we put on the tape and...
759
00:49:50,100 --> 00:49:54,264
he laughed
at how horribly stupid it was,
760
00:49:54,338 --> 00:49:55,999
but he never realized
761
00:49:56,073 --> 00:49:59,406
that this wasn't really
a representative of the WTO.
762
00:49:59,476 --> 00:50:02,070
Even when he saw me
like this right next to him,
763
00:50:02,146 --> 00:50:05,172
and then we switched seats
and he still didn't notice.
764
00:50:05,249 --> 00:50:08,707
Then I had to put my face
next to the thing and go...
765
00:50:08,786 --> 00:50:10,913
Yeah, let's just pause it here.
766
00:50:10,988 --> 00:50:13,149
- Okay. Hit stop.
- Is there a pause?
767
00:50:13,223 --> 00:50:15,054
- Stop button.
- There's no pause.
768
00:50:15,125 --> 00:50:18,754
I don't know what I could've said
after that clip.
769
00:50:18,829 --> 00:50:20,558
I mean...really...
770
00:50:21,965 --> 00:50:26,129
"Where did they get this guy from?"
might've been my first comment.
771
00:50:26,203 --> 00:50:28,865
So did you ever figure out
where they got the guy from?
772
00:50:29,640 --> 00:50:36,136
I understood that he was in the External
Relations Department for the WTO.
773
00:50:36,213 --> 00:50:39,080
- That's what they thought, too.
- That's what they thought, as well.
774
00:50:39,783 --> 00:50:40,943
- But...
- But...
775
00:50:41,018 --> 00:50:44,010
- ...as it happens, he wasn't.
- Yeah.
776
00:50:44,088 --> 00:50:47,057
- In fact--
- Just take one more close look.
777
00:50:48,659 --> 00:50:50,854
Wait, can we--is this reverse?
778
00:50:54,398 --> 00:50:55,888
No!
779
00:50:59,269 --> 00:51:01,533
I wasn't gonna mention the likeness.
780
00:51:02,573 --> 00:51:05,565
You were being very polite,
weren't you? Yeah.
781
00:51:06,577 --> 00:51:08,238
- Yeah.
- You did it as a spoof?
782
00:51:08,379 --> 00:51:10,108
- Yeah.
- Yeah. Basically...
783
00:51:12,483 --> 00:51:14,644
That's good. We weren't sure
how you would react.
784
00:51:14,718 --> 00:51:18,313
We were really hoping you wouldn't be
too offended. We were like, "Oh, no!"
785
00:51:18,389 --> 00:51:20,721
Hell, no. That's great.
That's really--
786
00:51:20,791 --> 00:51:23,624
I was wondering,
'cause I hadn't seen that guy before,
787
00:51:23,694 --> 00:51:27,095
and I did know some of the WTO
External Relations people,
788
00:51:27,164 --> 00:51:31,260
and I was thinking, "My God,
they really put up a right one this time."
789
00:51:31,335 --> 00:51:33,997
We wanted to talk
to Barry Coates as well
790
00:51:34,071 --> 00:51:39,008
because he has a lot of statistics
and information about globalization
791
00:51:39,076 --> 00:51:42,443
that we thought would be useful
for the lecture in Australia.
792
00:51:42,513 --> 00:51:45,004
All of the WTO agreements bar one
793
00:51:45,082 --> 00:51:48,347
are all about restricting
what governments can do.
794
00:51:48,419 --> 00:51:53,015
And so, essentially, the whole
trading system is built on the premise
795
00:51:53,090 --> 00:51:58,255
that the companies trading internationally,
investing internationally,
796
00:51:58,328 --> 00:52:03,322
are going to be preyed upon
by nasty governments.
797
00:52:03,400 --> 00:52:05,732
And, really, what we have
798
00:52:05,803 --> 00:52:08,738
is an international system
that is entirely the reverse.
799
00:52:08,806 --> 00:52:11,001
What's got squeezed out of the system
800
00:52:11,074 --> 00:52:14,066
is democracy,
is development, is environment,
801
00:52:14,144 --> 00:52:17,136
is the kind of human values
802
00:52:17,214 --> 00:52:20,650
which really ought to be the center
of what we're trying to do.
803
00:52:20,717 --> 00:52:24,209
We don't live to trade, you know.
804
00:52:24,288 --> 00:52:27,121
We live to have decent lives.
805
00:52:27,191 --> 00:52:29,682
And that ought to be the goal
of our trade policy,
806
00:52:29,760 --> 00:52:34,788
not maximizing trade
or getting rid of any impediments to it.
807
00:53:00,224 --> 00:53:02,351
Looks good.
I've got that.
808
00:53:03,060 --> 00:53:04,721
Need to get the video...
809
00:53:05,596 --> 00:53:08,929
...and we'll be off.
810
00:53:08,999 --> 00:53:10,432
Let's see...
811
00:53:13,237 --> 00:53:16,070
One of the big reasons
why I'm up here
812
00:53:16,139 --> 00:53:20,098
is that we have the Australia gig
for the Yes Men.
813
00:53:20,177 --> 00:53:24,170
I did an animation about the recycling
of post-consumer waste
814
00:53:24,248 --> 00:53:27,979
into hamburgers and fast food.
815
00:53:28,051 --> 00:53:30,281
So...here we go.
816
00:53:30,921 --> 00:53:34,516
The answer to the world's
sustainable food future is in recycling.
817
00:53:35,826 --> 00:53:38,420
Since over half our nutrients
taken in are eliminated,
818
00:53:38,495 --> 00:53:39,894
valuable resources are at risk.
819
00:53:39,963 --> 00:53:43,364
By using post-consumer waste,
reBurger allows essential nutrients
820
00:53:43,433 --> 00:53:46,732
to be offered to developing countries
for greatly reduced cost.
821
00:53:48,038 --> 00:53:49,699
Okay...
822
00:53:54,411 --> 00:53:56,072
It gets better.
823
00:53:57,314 --> 00:53:58,576
- Wait.
- What was that?
824
00:53:58,649 --> 00:54:01,140
- Was that in outer space?
- What the hell was that?
825
00:54:01,785 --> 00:54:04,720
I think it does the job.
I think it does the job.
826
00:54:07,624 --> 00:54:11,617
We're here in New York
because Herb Alpert,
827
00:54:11,695 --> 00:54:14,687
of Herb Alpert
and the Tijuana Brass,
828
00:54:14,765 --> 00:54:16,926
gave us this award.
829
00:54:17,000 --> 00:54:21,664
A bunch of money to do
the kind of stuff that we do.
830
00:54:21,738 --> 00:54:24,229
So we had to come here
and have dinner with him
831
00:54:24,308 --> 00:54:26,970
and get the money
and thank everybody.
832
00:54:27,044 --> 00:54:29,877
It was very nice
and very surprising.
833
00:54:29,947 --> 00:54:33,280
But we're very pleased.
I think we can say we're very pleased.
834
00:54:34,184 --> 00:54:35,845
Yeah, it was a big chunk of money.
835
00:54:35,919 --> 00:54:39,753
It's gonna bankroll a lot
of future activities like going to Australia.
836
00:54:40,958 --> 00:54:42,949
Yeah, so we got
this chunk of money but,
837
00:54:43,026 --> 00:54:45,358
of course, now we're
also using this opportunity
838
00:54:45,429 --> 00:54:48,091
and this hotel room here in New York
to meet up with Matt
839
00:54:48,165 --> 00:54:51,157
who's been working on the PowerPoint
presentation for Australia,
840
00:54:51,234 --> 00:54:52,826
and to meet up with Patrick
841
00:54:52,903 --> 00:54:56,498
who's been working on animations
for Australia as well.
842
00:54:56,573 --> 00:55:00,703
Fortunately we were lucky, too,
because Snafu was in town.
843
00:55:00,777 --> 00:55:03,507
He's sort of a European Yes Man.
844
00:55:03,580 --> 00:55:05,673
He's been circulating
in the European scene
845
00:55:05,749 --> 00:55:08,240
doing Yes Men-type activities.
846
00:55:08,318 --> 00:55:11,253
But it's a good thing
he's here in the States
847
00:55:11,321 --> 00:55:13,653
so he could go
to Plattsburgh with us.
848
00:55:13,724 --> 00:55:16,215
Yes, trade liberalization
is a religious undertaking.
849
00:55:16,293 --> 00:55:18,853
A project of faith, a crusade of sorts,
and it has been
850
00:55:18,929 --> 00:55:22,296
ever since its founders declared
that financial success comes from God
851
00:55:22,366 --> 00:55:25,358
and that wealth
is a sign of divine favor.
852
00:55:25,435 --> 00:55:29,667
Now, why is starvation a problem?
First, the facts.
853
00:55:29,740 --> 00:55:32,834
As we all know, investment
and exports have been on the rise...
854
00:55:35,646 --> 00:55:37,307
There's some bad news.
855
00:55:37,381 --> 00:55:40,646
There's some really bad news
that came down in the last two days.
856
00:55:41,652 --> 00:55:43,984
The conference in Australia--
857
00:55:44,054 --> 00:55:46,716
the people from the conference
in Australia wrote an e-mail
858
00:55:46,790 --> 00:55:51,454
saying that the conference has been
canceled because of low enrollment.
859
00:55:51,528 --> 00:55:54,190
In some ways
it's really kind of, I guess,
860
00:55:54,264 --> 00:55:56,596
a nice thing
that there was underenrollment
861
00:55:56,667 --> 00:55:58,828
because it was really
a hideous conference
862
00:55:58,902 --> 00:56:00,961
and it seemed like a really dire thing
863
00:56:01,038 --> 00:56:03,871
that people would actually
want to go to that thing.
864
00:56:03,940 --> 00:56:06,272
And so, it's really
encouraging for humanity
865
00:56:06,343 --> 00:56:08,743
that the conference
actually has been canceled.
866
00:56:08,812 --> 00:56:12,839
But at the same time, it's really
made things difficult for us.
867
00:56:12,916 --> 00:56:14,907
So I wrote back to them
as Hildegard West
868
00:56:14,985 --> 00:56:18,648
and I asked them if they
would please set up another venue
869
00:56:18,722 --> 00:56:22,317
because Kinnithrung Sprat
is already en route to Australia.
870
00:56:22,392 --> 00:56:25,793
So right now I'm waiting to see
if they come back to us
871
00:56:25,862 --> 00:56:29,696
with a suggestion that they'll actually
have a public presentation,
872
00:56:29,766 --> 00:56:32,496
but since the conference
has been canceled,
873
00:56:32,569 --> 00:56:38,098
now the event in Plattsburgh might be
the only venue we have for this lecture.
874
00:56:38,175 --> 00:56:41,611
So it's really important now that we get
the lecture done and sort of together.
875
00:56:41,678 --> 00:56:48,413
So it's no longer a dress rehearsal.
It's actually, like, the final production.
876
00:56:49,986 --> 00:56:51,317
It's about time.
877
00:56:51,388 --> 00:56:53,481
I was so worried about your shoes.
878
00:56:53,557 --> 00:56:56,355
This guy brought
real shoes for you. Look.
879
00:56:56,426 --> 00:56:58,257
Do we have the hamburgers yet?
880
00:56:59,062 --> 00:57:01,121
- We have to pick them up.
- You mentioned--
881
00:57:01,198 --> 00:57:03,530
They're ordered.
Richard ordered them already.
882
00:57:03,600 --> 00:57:05,431
- That's fantastic.
- We pick them up?
883
00:57:05,502 --> 00:57:08,562
Basically, there's this guy
named Richard Robbins who I met
884
00:57:08,638 --> 00:57:10,629
at a conference
about a month ago,
885
00:57:10,707 --> 00:57:15,508
and he has written
several books on globalization.
886
00:57:16,079 --> 00:57:18,843
He was interested
in having the WTO
887
00:57:18,915 --> 00:57:21,315
come speak
at the Economics Department.
888
00:57:21,384 --> 00:57:24,785
Only he really knows that this
isn't really the WTO.
889
00:57:24,855 --> 00:57:27,119
Everybody else will think
that it's the WTO.
890
00:57:27,741 --> 00:57:30,437
But another good thing is
that it will be a hungry audience,
891
00:57:30,511 --> 00:57:33,503
so there's a good chance
the